Day 23: Anxiety/Worrying Thoughts

One of the most common complaints people have – even those not dealing with menopause – is night time anxiety. Anxious thoughts and worry. For a lot of us, it just seems like the evening is the time when our brain decides to stress over every random thought that passes through. Next thing you know, it’s 4 am and you’ve not slept a wink. And you haven’t solved whatever it is you’re worrying about either.

Night time anxiety can sometimes be even worse than daytime anxiety. Why is that? Well, night time is usually when things around you quiet down. No one is calling your name. No one is demanding your attention. You’re alone with your own thoughts maybe for the first time all day.

If you’ve been under stress all day, night time doesn’t make it just magically disappear. Your body may be stuck in that stress spiral with no way to let it go. Night time is also the time when we feel least in control.

So what does all that have to do with menopause? Quite a lot actually. Night time is the realm of night sweats. The hot flash’s evil twin. They occur at night and can sometimes be as or even more severe than daytime hot flashes. Like hot flashes, they can be exacerbated by anxiety. Night sweats and anxiety can wake you from a sound sleep and make it very difficult to return to sleep.

Anxiety has been linked with symptoms such as hot flashes and insomnia. So, anxiety can make symptoms worse, and increased symptoms can worsen anxiety. There’s that vicious cycle again. What came first – the anxiety or the hot flash?

Sometimes anxiety can pop up for no reason at all. It doesn’t always need an invitation. The most important thing to do when night time anxiety shows up is to stay calm. Anxiety is driven by fear, and taps into all of our worries and insecurities. It can pull you into a spiral of whirling “what-if’s” that can keep you awake till dawn and have you convinced you won’t be able to get through the day. And, you’ll be exhausted.

So, for lots of reasons, it makes sense to keep your anxiety in check. Let’s talk about how to do that.

Remember that anxiety makes you think in negative, all-or-nothing kinds of ways. It is this kind of thinking that can keep you up all night. If you’re awakened at night and are feeling anxious, try reframing your negative thoughts. Remember we learnt the power of this practice in the first course. Think of some negative thoughts you have that prevent you from falling asleep. This could be, “Oh, I am not getting anything done tomorrow…” Next time you have that thought, I’d like you try replacing it with a more calming thought. For example, “I’m going to prioritize the most important tasks I need to do tomorrow, and I can delegate the others.” Try that next time and feel the difference.

You can also try scheduling some time daily to sit with your worries. This should be a set, limited time to deal with whatever stressors are weighing you down. When you’ve finished with your worry time, mentally put those thoughts away for another day, and don’t carry them to bed with you.

Last but not least, when you’re struggling to fall asleep, try a Quick Relief exercise in this app. It’ll help you to let go of your anxious thoughts, and also walk you through a paced breathing technique to help you calm down and get back to sleep.