Day 16: Behavioral Reactions To Hot Flashes

You feel the heat rising … and you know. It’s coming. The response is often, “Oh no! Not again…” Your thoughts are racing, you’re burning up, you’re sweating and your heart is racing. All you want to do is get somewhere ice cold and peel off the layers.

First, let’s stop and look at what’s happening. When dealing with uncomfortable things, how we react is just as important as what we’re experiencing. How we react can sometimes even make an experience feel worse.

Here’s why:

When a hot flash happens, your body experiences a flood of neurochemical reactions. These reactions increase blood flow and heart rate, all in an effort to cool what your body perceives as overheating. That physical sensation alone is uncomfortable, right? You’re burning up, you’re sweating and just generally upset that it’s even happening.

So, think about the typical hot flash scenario. Here are some thoughts that might be running through your mind:

I’m burning up!

Oh no…Here it comes again!

I can’t believe this is happening. It won’t stop!

Can they see the sweat running down my face?

I’ve got to get out of here!

Sound familiar? It looks an awful lot like anxiety, doesn’t it?

When we experience something scary or uncomfortable, it is easy to let our thoughts get away from us. When that happens, fear and anxiety escalate. And, this sets off its own cascade of reactions that can include: Increased heart rate, an “I can’t catch my breath” feeling, higher blood pressure, tightness in your chest, racing thoughts (mostly about how this is the worst thing to ever happen)

So, you’ve already got a hot flash in full force. Allowing anxiety to take over adds another layer of discomfort onto an already uncomfortable situation.1 What can you do?

Pause, and think.

Here’s the truth- Hot flashes happen. It’s a physical reaction that we cannot control. We can’t always control our feelings about them.

But, what you CAN control is how you think about the situation. You CAN control how you react to the situation.

The key to managing a hot flash is to be prepared and stay calm. Stay in control of your thoughts. As you do that, you’re able to choose reactions that promote relaxation and rational thinking. You can learn to manage the hot flash and get through it in control and with confidence.

So now the question is, what can you do to manage your hot flashes better? You make changes in how you think and react. Let’s discuss some practical strategies.

First of all, track your hot flashes – Your log in this app will help you to keep a check on what’s happening and what’s working (or not working) over time. Knowledge is power, and your log will give you better knowledge of your symptoms. It’s also a nice way to check in with yourself on a daily basis.

Second, plan ahead – The fact is, hot flashes might happen in public, in the board room, or at the supermarket. Remind yourself that this is simply a fact and be prepared. Doing proactive things like dressing in layers, taking a change of clothes, keeping necessary things ready in your bag can all be reassuring and help you feel more in control. And by the way, there are lots of us right there with you discreetly doing the exact same things. So don’t feel alone!

Third, choose Calm Over Fear – When a hot flash hits and we’re distressed, we tend to engage in thoughts that overestimate the possibility of something happening, or we catastrophize (meaning, we think this is the worst thing to ever happen). In reality, neither is true. Sometimes things happen, sometimes they don’t. A hot flash in reality is not the WORST thing that could ever happen to you. But, our thoughts can get away from us and next thing you know, you’re panicked.

Practice replacing the “Oh my God’s” and “what if’s” with calming, self-supporting responses. For example, a negative thought could be “Oh God, here it comes again! What am I going to do?” You can start replacing this with a positive response like – “I’ve got this. I know what to do and it will pass in a minute.”

Another negative thought could be, “Oh no, people are looking at me. They know!” Instead, start telling yourself – “I’m the one feeling the hot flash. Other people won’t notice, and they probably won’t care”

What you’re starting to do is bringing your thinking under control and rationally making decisions about what to do. What you tell yourself matters. Empower yourself to take control.And last but not least, breathe! – When we’re under stress, our breathing tends to become rapid and shallow and guess what that does? Yup, increases your heart rate and blood pressure. That just makes everything feel a lot worse than it is. Whenever you’re having a hot flash, open the app and try the Quick Relief breathing exercise to help you feel better. Paced breathing is a really effective way to reduce your hot flashes, and we’ll talk about that more in depth in the next lesson.