Day 13: Managing Worry

As we talked about earlier, worry is the cognitive component of anxiety. It’s the “in your head” part of anxiety. And it is very powerful.

Worry is characterized by dwelling on negative thoughts, ponders the “what if’s” and focuses on all the things that “could” go wrong. It is sometimes referred to as anticipatory anxiety. Basically you worry about all the things that could happen. Most are very unlikely to happen but you worry none-the-less. Sometimes, the thoughts are so intrusive and repetitive that you can barely think about anything else. At times, the worry is so intense that it can trigger the very thing you worry about.

For example, say you are worried about giving a presentation at work. You are worried you might trip over your words, or worse, freeze in front of your audience. You know your presentation inside and out but you just can’t stop with the “what if’s”. Sure enough, your anxiety is SO high that you step onto the platform and…you can’t remember what to say. It’s not for lack of planning. It’s not even a fear of public speaking. Your anticipation of what could happen became so intense that your brain responded to exactly what you visualized.

One of the keys to managing anxiety is learning to control our distorted thinking. When you can take control of worry, you are able to slow down and think more clearly. You can challenge the “what if’s” and choose actions that are based in strength and not in fear.

A powerful tool to learn is relaxation.

When you learn to relax your body and your mind, you can reduce your level of worry. You can think more rationally and gently challenge the validity of those “what ifs”. You may even be able to avert a building panic attack by learning to shut down the worry loop.

Deep breathing exercises are one of the easiest and most powerful relaxation strategies you can learn. And better still, you can use this strategy anytime, anywhere and no one even has to know. Deep breathing is a proven way to decrease feelings of panic and nervousness. As anxiety builds, our breathing tends to become more rapid and shallow. This in turn, exacerbates feelings of anxiety and it becomes a destructive spiral. Learning to slow down your breathing reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety and slows your thinking so that you can think more rationally.

Another great relaxation strategy is something called Progressive Muscle Relaxation or PMR. PMR reduces the muscle tension that often accompanies high anxiety. PMR involves progressively tightening and then relaxing the muscles of your body, releasing the tension in your body

We’ve already talked about Mindfulness Meditation and its powerful effects on anxiety reduction. This type of meditation encourages focus on the present. This present focus helps to shut down the future focus of worry.

One of the simplest and most often overlooked relaxation tool is journaling. Journaling is more than just writing. The act of writing down your thoughts has a calming and cathartic effect. Writing about your feelings can help you to recognize patterns of thoughts and feelings and how they affect your actions and your experience of anxiety.

Another way to shut down worry is to Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

When you get nervous about something that hasn’t happened yet or you’re doing the “what if’s”, ask yourself if you are being realistic. In many cases, you might find that you are catastrophizing, fortune telling, or thinking of worst-case scenarios. Challenging these thoughts with more realistic ones can help calm your feelings of anxiety. Remember your ABCs.

Another approach to dealing with anxiety and worry in the moment is to practice acceptance. Just let it be. Acknowledge and observe it. It might sound counterproductive to let the worry simply be but approaching it from a more neutral stance has positive effects. Worry only has power if you give it power.

Instead of trying to change faulty thinking patterns, simply accept the presence of the worry and acknowledge that it is serving a purpose. Doing so allows you to let go of the need to control and recognize that the struggle to control the situation has not been helpful. As you gain acceptance, you can begin to explore the underlying negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. This optimistic approach of acceptance has been found to reduce worry and can even avert a potential exacerbation of anxiety. When you give up the struggle and begin to understand your worry, you are able to move to a position of strength and confidence that you can overcome your worries. You can work through them and come to a place of peace.