Has anyone noticed positives during menopause? The one symptom I don’t relate to is loss of libido. In fact the opposite: after years of being uninterested in sex, suddenly I am! And a few days every few weeks I feel like I’ve hit the sweet spot of feeling great. Is this just the contrast of how terrible I feel the rest of the time?!– Caron
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Ari5 years ago
I could swear my boobs have become a little bigger. Not without pain, but they’re an inch bigger than the last time I checked.
Charlotte3 years ago
I’ve had a lot of symptoms hit me like a ton of bricks recently though I admit I do like the fuller breasts! I am also enjoying sex more because it is like my daily dose of natural hormone therapy to deal with all of this!
ChazzaW5 years ago
Yes, whilst hot flashes are a negative, the higher core temperature means I am not feeling the cold like I used to. Winner?
Stella5 years ago
I have also noticed my boobs got bigger and increase in libido ?
Natasha5 years ago
I am so thankful that I still really enjoy sex, amd do not suffer any sort of dryness!
Juliet5 years ago
Good lord about the libido! Lucky you! I describe hitting menopause as being like having an overnight sexual lobotomy. Even self-pleasure is almost a thing of the past partly due to said lack of libido and partly because I don’t recognise my own body all of a sudden. And sex when it does occur is extremely painful. Hmm thinks hard about possible positives - no, I can’t think of any. (Btw periods for me were really easy and latterly, almost a delight.) Keep it up so to speak, but sorry about all the other miserable symptoms you’re experiencing.
Lesley5 years ago
I got so much done without a libido! So uninterested in men and dating it was like true freedom Def a change from a lifetime of feeling like I was always hungry. Now on HRT & the libido is back and I’m back to wasting tons of time thinking about sex, planning it, and having it when I could be mulching my garden, cleaning out my garage, etc etc. ?
Belinda5 years ago
I completely agree with other you Juliet, I have hit rock bottom I do not like how the menopause makes me feel especially when nothing works or doesn’t agree with me and I suffer really badly, will be glad when it’s all over, and so will my husband as he feels at a loss sometimes. It is a miserable journey that some of us have to plough through unfortunately, a lot of people say ‘You will feel great when it’s over’. Well the damage has already been done!
Veronicareplying to Belinda5 years ago
Belinda, I can relate to your pain. Wish I could give you a hug.
Elizabethreplying to Belinda5 years ago
I haven’t hit bottom but I have to do a lot to get me in the mood. I love to dance so I put on some great sexy dance tunes, put on some lingerie and start dancing like a stripper. He loves it of course. We sometimes role play and pretend to be other people. My husband and I have developed a theory on why many, maybe just some women lose sexual interest once they’re in a committed relationship. Think about when you’re dating someone new and the first few times you had sex. For me the nuance of being with a someone new and finding out what turns them on and gets them off Is exciting. When I met my husband we were having sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. Then as we settled into a relationship sex went down to 4-5 times a week and after he moved in 2 x week. It’s like my sexual triggers were turned off, and we didn’t know why? We did a lot of research and found that this ( loss of sexual triggers) is very common. Would love to hear what women think about the topic of sexual triggers. Thx.
Anon5 years ago
I have had variable libido, but I’ve been completely insatiable for about the last 2 months. I think my boobs are probably about the same, but in a good way.
Tonia5 years ago
I am with you Anon. My libido seem to vary. Last month it seemed I couldn’t get enough, this month - well not so much. My baby ( husband) jokes he is glad for the slow tempo ?b/c HE is getting to old for all of this. I am thankful that my flashes are not long or as frequent as I hear others.
Dolphinsal5 years ago
Oh I’m so glad you said this I thought it was just me! After being celibate for 10 years (following my husbands one night stand betrayal which resulted in a child in another town and him not having an std test which was one of my conditions of allowing him to stay), all of a sudden I am like absolutely dying for sex 24/7!!! Is it due to less oestrogen and more testosterone? I feel like I could have sex morning noon and night! What’s happening??
Caron5 years ago
I also wondered if it was the increase in testosterone ratio. Glad you’re feeling some benefit!
Dolphinsalreplying to Caron5 years ago
No... I’m not feeling any benefit as I’ve no one to have sex with!! Lol ? So do you think it I S the testosterone then?
Lesleyreplying to Dolphinsal5 years ago
Probs- I lost estrogen & testosterone and was completely asexual. Then I added estrogen for 6 months and wasn’t asexual but wasn’t motived to go find someone to have sex with. Now had to add testosterone since I have zero, and BOOM just found myself a lover because I have constant needs. I’m back to being 30 again. Am not liking so much but only bc it’s totally ruined my focus!
Belindareplying to Lesley5 years ago
Are there any side effects to taking testosterone and is it safe to take?
Caronreplying to Belinda5 years ago
I think best to get it naturally- I go to the gym a lot and this boosts testosterone. It is also really good for women in perimen in other ways. Try that before medication. You might also meet a few hunky guys there!
It’s me KD4 years ago
Who cares what’s happening just go with it ?but do be safe??
Michelle4 years ago
Yea I thought I was weird too. My sex drive has tripled.
Valen5 years ago
Hi, so great to see this discussion topic!!? I’m in the pre-menopause and preparing for it I’ve changed my eating and drinking habits and lost 20 kilos in the process. I’ve also started meditating and feel so much in tune with my body. No shame, no worries, just me and my body as one . Something it took me 44 years to achieve! If you are interested I’m setting a women circle to support each other and share stories ( people with menopause getting together.- Just that) if interested leave your details here [www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/menopause-circle-tickets-128021181801]
Dolphinsal5 years ago
Yes I’d love to x
Valenreplying to Dolphinsal5 years ago
Hi! Register here https://forms.gle/9uG2wuFWSxiDJR5RA and I’ll send you zoom details . Circle is at 2PM UK time
Elizabeth5 years ago
Lucky you! Lol.
Beth5 years ago
My breasts are bigger...good and bad?? ?
Melissa5 years ago
Oh my goodness! I hope this happens to me !! I got my boobs from my father ( didn’t get much lol ) ?♀️
Krista5 years ago
Lol. I’m peri-menopausal & haven’t had a loss of interest per se. Interestingly (maybe) ive had to go on POP for birth control because my significant other never got “fixed”! HIS ex had had a hysterectomy so it was never an issue! Now, I’m thinkin I’ll have to stay on the pill, like forever, because we can’t risk a catch-colt happening!!! ? I’m loving that all my symptoms seem to have levelled out some.
RC5 years ago
Glad to see someone else has this ? I thought it was a bit unusual. I’m 53 and my libido has definitely sky rocketed ? I have NEVER been like this......needless to say, my husband is definitely not complaining. Having said that, there is only one positive.
Jacinda5 years ago
Nothing positive
Vicky5 years ago
I’m loving the ‘I don’t give a damn’ mindset!
Sestia5 years ago
Yes that totally rocks! The rest - meh.
Mav5 years ago
Loss of libido has hit me massively I’m just glad my husband is so understanding.
Cat5 years ago
Lack of body hair was the most surprising and welcomed effect I’ve had so far.
JK5 years ago
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for that one!!!!
Angela5 years ago
I haven’t had sex in 3 years and had sex the other day an bleed afterwards is that normal
cj5 years ago
yes actuLly this is the first time ive actually had a sex drive
Mandy5 years ago
Caron, I’m exactly the same, and not sorry about it at all ☺️
Charity5 years ago
Yes! I now have a drive that I never had before which contradicts everything I’ve read, but I’m not complaining
Jo5 years ago
No period! That’s about it! I enjoy not having to purchase supplies!
Kara5 years ago
Amen!!
Channel555 years ago
I thought it was only me! Glad to hear that this might be normal. Although my hormones have dipped the last 2 months, hot flashes have returned and libido has dropped. I’m a bit sad about it and trying to get it back as it was rather fun! Here’s hoping.
Naomi5 years ago
Yes! Definitely warmer and more comfortable. Used to have to take a hot water bottle to bed even in the height of summer due to cold feet. Now, toasty and warm ☺️ Also always had a much lower libido than my husband and noticing an improvement.
Ladybug5 years ago
So this might be unusual and I don't feel like I can talk about it with many people. My libido has not increased but my sexual response has changed. Anyone else? I've been orgasmic for a long time but have never, um, ejaculated, until I turned 51. Same partner, nothing else has changed that I can think of. It's a mystery and there's not much written about it that I can find! No complaints though!
Alex5 years ago
I’ve had a similar change Ladybug. In peri @ 40, and in the last 2 years have been having progressively more intense orgasms and regularly ejaculate (something that didn’t happen before!). It’s amazing! Unfortunately my libido is so low I am not interested in sex very often, but when I am: woah mumma!! ?
Lee5 years ago
Loss of libido and loss of sexual interest in men. I went through a phase where I lust and fantasied over other men and felt guilty since I’m happily married. Turns out now, it was stupid hormonal fluctuations because now that lust is nonexistent which is bittersweet. I don’t have the sexual fantasies that I used to have and it’s been nice to take a sex break. I’m no longer experiencing the rise in urinary tract infections or any type of female infections. Still waiting to see if my libido returns once all of these unique menopausal symptoms go away, but will they? I feel like these symptoms are here to stay a long time and it’s hard to believe that there is an end, hard to imagine what it would look like.
Isabella Uk5 years ago
Yes, I started peri menopause last year at 50 years old. I was always tired and doing sports wasn’t my thing at all. Suddenly I started to feel energetic and I started running in the morning. Lockdown and working from home gave me more free time to enjoy doing so. I was around 137 pounds for 5’2. I’m around 100 pounds now. I was 20 last time I weighted like this. For now I can say that I’m doing really well.
Aurora5 years ago
Positives for me : 1: my feet for as long as I can remember have always been so cold ( bare feet in snow cold) and now they are warm most of the time. 2: libido through the roof. 3: I’m usually on the cold side and my hot flashes right now are more like warm ones. Downs: mood swings, breast sore, shocks and waking up for no reason and can’t go back to sleep. One day and a time.
Tammy5 years ago
I haven’t lost my libido at all. Sex drive still the same. Wetter than ever! Never dry.
Tammy5 years ago
I forgot to tell my age. I’m 57
Heather Thornton5 years ago
Yes! With the amount of hormones I lost I feel that was what caused a lot of my earlier years of what Drs said was depression. It wasn’t. I’m happy without anything. (Medication, alcohol, quit smoking after 26 years as heavy smoker.)I don’t want HRT. Is that weird or what? I’ve always had high energy that was confused as anxiety and anxiety symptoms but I do have genetic predisposition to anxiety and live with my mother who brings it out, lol! Bless her! Also increase in intellectual interest and satisfaction. I wish we started with our period and went through menopause..except for the losing ability to conceive part..
Lisa5 years ago
Yes! My confidence is soaring and I’m trying everything new that I can find, safe and within reason!! I have a devil may care attitude and enjoy every day!! I agree with not having a decreased libido and am only disappointed my period is still happening!!
Heather ME5 years ago
Don’t know if this menopause or simply age but I am so much more chill about crazy stuff than before. I’m pretty much in the middle of it and the last couple of years it’s like my care-o-meter needle flatlined. Except for the occasional sunburst of anxiety my body sends me to remind me of hormone fluctuations of course! Anyway it’s great.
JK5 years ago
I read somewhere (or listened to it on a podcast perhaps) that in menopause our hormone balance should be like that middle of the month time (ovulation) where you feel horny - your body is trying to get you pregnant... Surely the biggest positive of menopause will be no periods? Can’t wait!!! I’m 47 and definitely peri and have much better libido than I ever had when on the contraceptive pill!
Elizabeth5 years ago
Well my libido hasn’t really changed. I’m good w sex 1-2 x week. What has changed for the better is that my husband and I found my G-Spot. Yay! It’s been dormant most of my life since the beginning, but now it’s a whole new and different kind of climax that clitoral, which I’ve always been able to achieve. Lol... my secret is toys and I have lots of them.
CarolF5 years ago
I can so relate to this miserable disheartening feeling I know lockdown hasn’t helped us through this horrible time but I am literally at my wits end back when I had periods I suffered from bad pmt which I found hard to deal with mentally & physically but this menopause is literally destroying me in every way possible I have recently asked myself WHY do us as women have to suffer this agony on a day to day basis. I have went from being a very positive energetic person who even at the age of 50 was having regular nights out with friends dancing in night clubs & living life to barely being able to face the day ahead of me this is a soul destroying journey with no help support or even seeing any light at the end of a tunnel no sure if anyone is experiencing things as bad as I am but I would really appreciate any info on anything they have tried that’s helped if such a thing exists. Much appreciated in advanced Carol X
Lynn4 years ago
I was placed into medical menopause, with removal of my ovaries. My MD did not realize how active my ovaries were until they were gone. The Estrogen patch is the best medication. I get a small amount of Estrogen all the time. No one ever seems to discuss the horribly annoying Tingling sensations that don’t seem to stop. Once I was put on the patch the side effects appeared to decrease once medication started. Next step we are trying to wean off of the patches.
It’s me KD4 years ago
I’ve ALWAYS had a high sex drive,but since starting peri menopause (38)yrs…I’m 51 now and let me tell you…my bae runs from me stating “you will NOT kill me” I love it but at times I feel like I’m going crazy from want. So it’s a negative in that positive. P.S. damn that negative I’m like the energizer bunny… I just keep going and going and etc.??????safely of course?
Kris2 years ago
I felt that way for the 2 years till the stop of my period now it’s all gone!