I’m 53 and have been in perimenopause for a number of years now. Recently, I’ve started to feel more anxious, cry easily, have lots of mood swings, and am just generally having low days with no known trigger. Can this all be down to a fluctuation in hormones? Do others have a similar experience to this, feeling like you’re going crazy? Can anyone tell me whether this is normal…?– Michelle, Lancashire
Community comments
54Real experiences shared by the community, from the original discussion to today.
Join the discussion
Share what worked for you — comments are reviewed before they appear.
Jo6 years ago
I have had these symptoms for a number of years now. From crying at an advert to days where I am a blubbering mess. I am 41 but been perimenopausal for a number years now. I think it’s hormonal and I saw patterns when I kept track but more recently for me it has become more adhoc. I try to be mindful when I am having a bad day and remind myself it will pass. Anxiety is the hardest thing I find to deal with. I started a low dose of anti depressants and these have helped a lot even tho I was very reluctant to take them.
Ruth6 years ago
I am the same. I’m really struggling with my moods and get very down at times. I’m not usually a crying person but have found it happens quite a lot now. I get overwhelmed easily and my inner critic is vicious at this time when really I should probably be trying to kinder to myself. I’m on HRT which has helped a lot but have had real changes in my hormones that seem to override it sometimes. Don’t know if that helps but if nothing else you’re not alone. Wishing you luck and best wishes.
Lisa6 years ago
Yes this is me as well! I feel insane. I’m 54 and have the same symptoms with mild hot flashes. My anxiety has been out the window! I’ve also had a headache off and on this week, nothing helped the pain. I think messed up hormones are the culprit.
Ellie6 years ago
I can relate to you Lisa, going to bed with a headache ? waking up the next day and still there!! ? l’m 55 now thinking how long is this going to last ??♀️
Laura6 years ago
Well I can certainly relate to that! I feel like a cartoon character sometimes with the tears spouting from my eyes. I know there is nothing wrong with my life so it must be hormones. Incredible, difficult to live with and I suppose ‘normal’ for an awful lot of women. Good luck, I hope you find a way of coping with it.
Melissa6 years ago
Hi Michelle. I turn 53 on Sunday and your description of what you’re going through is identical to what I’m currently experiencing. I have no recommendations as I’m trying to get through this and understand it myself. You are not alone. You are not crazy. Be good to yourself.
Robin6 years ago
Hi Michelle, My name is Robin and I’m 39, I’ve been going through perimenopause since 37. Yes, it is hormones and you are not crazy at all. So, as our body loses the ability to make certain hormones, it’s like the mood swings are so much more intense, the anxiety is constantly rearing it’s ugly head, hot flashes... you name it that’s what’s going on and it’s all because of fluctuating hormones. It’s uncomfortable, it’s annoying, it’s scary and complicated. It’s like a bad relationship you can’t leave. I know for myself in order to get my mood swings and anxiety under control I started to research exactly what could be done to feel better and I established that vitamins help, especially the right ones. I’ve been taking magnesium helps with the anxiety and insomnia and the b complex and vitamin d also helps with my mood swings and the depression. This our new normal, especially on the days that your sad or crying for no reason. It’s all manageable, you just have to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel what your feeling and know that it’s okay and accept those days when you don’t feel like yourself. If you need to cry, do so and still know that you are not alone and it’s okay.
Emma5 years ago
Thanks so much for sharing xx
Christy6 years ago
Don’t forget that the impact of COVID will exacerbate our emotional peri menopausal symptoms. If things seem worse over the last few months, it could be hormones, social chaos, or some combo thereof. This has certainly been the case for me.
Dara6 years ago
Couldn’t agree more!! ??
Glitzy McJingles6 years ago
I’m 44 and in the same boat! The anti d’s help but if I forget to take them for even a day, I can feel myself becoming a nutcase again ?
Shena076 years ago
I am 53 and have been peri menopausal for a few years now, over the last six months noticeable change in mood, some anxiety, headaches and insomnia. I found drinking green tea with turmeric and Mehta as well as chamomile helps my anxiety and insomnia. When I start feeling a little depressed and as someone in this thread mentioned COVID 19 has exasperated many anxiety and fears, I find taking a walk around the neighborhood during daytime hours to helpful
Michelle6 years ago
Thank you for raising & discussing - I am relieved to see that I am not alone! I am going to take all these suggestions & hope to feel the benefits too. Stay safe Ladies! Mx
Michelle6 years ago
I’m 54 been in Peri-Menopausal limbo for several year. This anxious, persistent mood swings, endless tears, general low days had me thinking I was going crazy. I found this app by accident & reading others comments that they are going through the exact same thing actually made me feel better. Like Robin I’ve added vitamins, I take magnesium which in reflection is helping with sleep. Vitamin D & I’m adding in a B complex to see if that helps. I find mornings the worst, I gradually pick up as the day goes on. My doctor is wanting to stay away from HRT but had mentioned mild anti depressants that may help - personally been reluctant & afraid to go down this route??? I’m trying to battle through the worst days but some weeks I have sobbed buckets for no apparent reason.
JayS6 years ago
Take care with the vitamin B, for some people it can make things worse. I had a bad experience with it.
Jo6 years ago
I have complete empathy with you! I get extremely teary, emotional and my anxiety goes through the roof. I’m fit, healthy and love being outdoors but some days I have to push through the anxiety just to get in the car. I have 3 boys and keeping up with their ups and downs is quite a challenge especially when I have brain fog, anxiety and feel that I want to cry . It’s not easy but these days do pass and are less frequent then the normal or great days!
Christine6 years ago
Hi Michelle I feel exactly the same. I feel shocking Some days. I’ve lost all my confidence and feel generally unwell most days. Family members I started to see a difference in me. I have spoke to my doctor. But they seem to be reluctant to check my hormone levels. I have tried different pills and potions but to no avail and. Must’ve met getting a bit desperate now. I just want to feel normal.
Rachel6 years ago
Hi Christine, I can’t believe your doctor would be reluctant to check your hormone levels. All is takes is a blood test. Your well-being and sanity are at stake. Go and see someone else. I’m almost 48, I have been taking HRT for a year now and it has helped me a great deal. I’m also taking a mild dose of anti-depressants. I wasn’t keen but it has made a big difference. I was at breaking point before that. An absolute wreck of a human being. It’s hard enough even with these treatments, let alone without. Some of us are lucky to sail through menopause, but most of us go through absolute hell. Your doctor should know better. If he/she won’t check your hormones, I’m urging you to find another one who will. Help is available and all options should be discussed and the best one offered. It baffles and angers me to see how menopause is still considered like something trivial in these days and ages. It might not be an illness but it is a very tough time that can last for many years. I hope you get the help you deserve. You do not have to live like this. Sending you love, strength and positive vibes.
Jeanette6 years ago
I am 51 and been having symptoms for a few years. It’s the crippling anxiety that I have found most difficult to deal with. When symptoms started (and before I read up on symptoms) I had no idea that anxiety was a common problem. I’d never been particularly anxious before but when symptoms started it was all encompassing. Weirdly, particularly focused on health anxiety. I was often (and still am if I’m honest) convinced I had something majorly wrong with me and if not me then my husband, children or parents! It still happens now but I do know it’s just my hormones and it will pass. I don’t have any real advice but it definitely made me feel better to know I wasn’t alone in what I was feeling.
JayS6 years ago
I suffer from terrible health anxiety. It’s awful.
Hannah5 years ago
I can really relate to this . I am 42 and I think I am peri menopausal. My sister went through it at the same age . My anxiety has ramped up something chronic ! All focused on either my health or the kids or husband . I’m convinced some days i have something seriously wrong and my stomach churns with stress and worry . I have been offered antidepressants and I think I’m going to start taking them. I’ve been taking St. John’s wort and evening primrose oil and CBD but I’m not sure if it’s really working .
Michelle6 years ago
Wow thank you all so much for replying. As much as it’s not good so many are suffering it is good to know I’m not alone. I really appreciate all of your comments. I have recently started on some B vitamins with magnesium and also some Vit D. I will give them chance to get working hopefully and see how things go. As a few people have wrote I do think the way the world has been over the last months has definitely added to all the stress we are already under. Also no one prepares us woman for this do they and it’s so unpredictable with the way it messes with our heads. I have to say I feel this part of it is one of the hardest symptoms to deal with. It will pass for us all one day and we will be out at the other side hopefully soon. Thanks again everyone and take good care we are all here for one another.
Erica6 years ago
Hi Michelle, my name is Erica and I’ll be 54 next month. I’ve been peri menopausal for nearly 4 years. When I read your comment I thought I was reading about myself as for the past few months that’s how I’ve been feeling on an almost daily basis. I really understand what you’re going through but I’m not sure what the solution is. Maybe think about taking magnesium or vitamins B or D supplements - I’m certainly going to investigate this. I’ve also been on furlough from work since April which isn’t helping my symptoms as I get so anxious worrying about if I’ve still got a job to go back to. Hope you feel better soon.
Alicia6 years ago
Hi Michelle, I’m 49 yrs old and I am going through the same thing! I have good days and bad days. There’s times when I get so anxious I almost feel like something wrong is going to happen! Then there will be days when I get sensitive and feel like crying. Try to do some breathing exercises! They will help you feel a little more relaxed. I usually try to get next to a fan to keep my body cool while I do my breathing exercises. It helps me a lot.
Jane6 years ago
Hi Michelle, I’m 53 had a hysterectomy 6 years ago but the last 8 months have been feeling exactly the same as you and the other ladies on here. Anxiety bro g the worst for me, health anxiety thinking every ache and pain is something serious etc. At one point I was crying every morning for no apparent reason, felt very low full of doom and gloom. So I decided to see my doctor and eventually I’ve been given AD and hrt, I was a little worried because of all What you hear but there were a lot more positives. So after 4-5 months I’m feeling a lot better, I still have odd days but I know it will pass. I try and rest when I can too. So hopefully you’ll find something that suits you. Take care of yourself. And one more thing it is nice to know that we’re not the only ones going through this awful menopause and their symptoms (although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone). Take care ladies xxx
Alicia6 years ago
Hi, I’m 49 and going through perimenopause. I notice that days or a week before my period I tend to get more anxious, jittery and sometimes I feel like crying! I feel out of balance or something! Is this normal?
JayS6 years ago
I feel exactly the same. I’m suffering with anxiety of all sorts of types and feel depressed a lot too. My mood can go from being happy and cheerful to tears depending on what I’ve seen or heard or felt. I feel like I’ve completely lost my personality and the sense of who I used to be. I gave up my full time job last year because of all the different problems Perimenopause is causing me.
Julia5 years ago
Hi Jay, Your comment about losing your personality just resonated with me and although it’s so sad to hear that I’m also kind of glad that it’s not just me (sorry!). I feel like I have no idea who I am or what I want from life anymore. I have terrible bouts of depression and have never experienced anxiety like I do now, it’s so debilitating. My husband is being supportive of the changing hormones but I feel like such a burden, I don’t even want to talk to my friends about it as I feel like they’re going to get completely fed up with my low moods. How the heck can I try and figure out what I want from life when most days I just want to walk away from everything just to not feel this way any more! I hope you feel more like yourself soon, please let there be a swift end to this craziness!! ?
Michelle D6 years ago
I feel so similar. I’m 44 and my days are very unpredictable. I’ve been surprised at the dramatic mood changes I feel from one moment to the next. I have five kids 17-3 and some days I feel so burdened by life. I will switch on a dime from handling my responsibilities like a champ to feeling detached and barely surviving. I spent three years thinking it was postpartum but it clearly isn’t. Not knowing the triggers is really difficult. My hormones have been erratic my whole life but everything changed when my teens hit puberty. Then I thought it was that. Perimenopause seems to be real culprit. I am glad to find this thread as it is giving me many ideas to help combat my own mood swings. Wishing you the best finding a new balance!
Netty6 years ago
I have days when I feel the world is on top of me Anger feeling for no reason It’s hard sometimes but the good thing is that I tend to talk about it with those I trust.
Ari6 years ago
I’m just more irritable than before. I get sad more easily, and sometimes it feels like I don’t know myself. I’m just starting premenopausal. I had never felt irritable on my period until now... and it has been late for almost three weeks now. Ugh.
Kimberly6 years ago
You are not alone. Try meditation and exercise to help
Ellie5 years ago
Ditto to all the comments below & I only wished that this community existed when I was going through the worst of it after my hysterectomy 10 years ago. I definitely thought I was losing it & nobody else could possibly be going through what I was going through!! I saw this on another social media platform recently & it really resonated with me so I hope it helps some of you guys... “So far you have survived 100% of your worst days. This too shall pass.”
Michele3 years ago
How long after your hysterectomy before you felt normal again? Mine was almost 4yrs ago. It’s getting better but not quite leveled out yet.
Tammy5 years ago
I’m 52 and I am very familiar with all that you described. I’m very sensitive to hormone fluctuations. I would recommend the book “female brain gone insane”...you will read your story in that book, but will get answers to why and which hormone causes what. I had ablation years ago which makes it even more confusing to me, so I go by moods. I had an extreme low out of the blue two days ago and then the next day I was totally fine, which makes me think hormonal imbalance. I’m going to find a dr who uses bio identical hormones to help me figure which ones are out of whack and if I’m menopausal at this point. Conventional drs are less open to alternative ideas and usually just prescribe a conventional hormone replacement. Get the book...you will feel SO validated and will stop thinking you might be going crazy or bipolar.? praying for you!
Kimberli5 years ago
Empty Nest Syndrome last couple years and with the final sale of a medispa partnership in LA, I felt free, bewildered and very surly at the emotions that came out in just one day after my youngest moved out. So busy ???? Fast forward to March while LA was shutting down on while we celebrate 3 birthdays - Just turned 60 in March during the first wave of shut downs in CA and was able to celebrate very small while Postponing until all settles down. ? haha While we are all fortunate to be here now with this technology and the freedoms to share and reach out to others that resonate with us, it is just pure joy to know we are strong women showing up everyday for each other ?. Thank you ladies ?❤️
Charlie5 years ago
The irony is I am sitting on a train crying behind my face mask - anxious about the lack of mask wearing despite the rules. I am not really an anxious person. Since last year I have been in the peri menopause with mostly panic attacks at night and a general loss of confidence in myself. I have tried 4 different HRT formulations- now on my 5th and hoping it helps. I too feel reluctant to take antidepressants- had them when my first husband died and it was horrible getting off them. I will try some of the natural stuff vitamins and minerals- I wish we were made differently and I agree Covid adds another layer! Thank you for this community
Deborah5 years ago
I’m 53 and first began noticing peri menopausal symptoms at 44, it’s been a really long terrifying journey. It feels like I might be turning a corner but that’s happened before and I have felt very disappointed. The mood swings and brain fog have to be the worst, they affect life in every way. All I can say is it’s tough but we keep surviving the toughest of tests, women rock! hang in there everyone we can do this!!
Susan4 years ago
I’m 45 and believe I am peri menopausal. I’ve noticed that I get either bad anxiety or I cry a lot around my period. I’m dealing with it right now as my period started today. I’m cramping, I couldn’t sleep last night because of the anxiety and it’s made the anxiety worse today because of the lack of sleep. I hate my body right now. I’m in therapy because of the anxiety and panic attacks.
Christine4 years ago
Im 53 and exactly the same. Anything makes me cry. I can’t remember anything. I’m so with you.
Susie4 years ago
Me too, on the crazy mood swings & crying. I’ve found I can sometimes move it over into (somewhat hysterical) laughter by watching a really funny show, when I feel emotional and tearful. I like this better than sadness, depression, anger, etc. Good luck!
Chin4 years ago
Oh Michelle I’m currently sitting in my sofa in tears about everything and nothing. I feel like I’m going crazy I’m 46 and feel like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. You’re definitely not alone x
Ali4 years ago
Anyway with neck and shoulder pains that goes all the way the arms?
Teresa4 years ago
I Definitely Hope So. If Not I’m in Trouble. Lol ?
Cheryl4 years ago
Meditation got me through mine.
paige4 years ago
my anxiety has gotten really worse lately...i recently changed jobs because i could no longer deal with issues there
Amanda4 years ago
Hi! I’m 46 and am an emotional basket case. I am on d meds but sometimes they don’t seem strong enough. I cry at the drop of a hat, but then I can turn around and bite your head off. It’s crazy. I do try to get out and take walks because natural vitamin D is the best. I also take vitamin D and magnesium. I have a terrible time sleeping. I also have sleep apnea. So I have sleep apnea, insomnia, and hot flashes all night. My husband turned over the other night and asked me if I was pregnant because of the lack of sleep and my crying. What?!?! Mood swing central!! Walks, vitamins, water, hot teas, and reading are my go tos.
Taia4 years ago
I’m going to be 50 this month and I’ve been having irregular period issues now for about 2 years. This July was the first time I’ve been 9 days late, my moods have changed and I’m noticing that I’m easily frustrated with things I struggle to do for myself and just in general these days.
Alex3 years ago
Hi All, I’m 44 & menopausal. Started peri-menopause around 38. About 3 years ago had mini meltdown at work & docs put me on anti-depressants. After a lot of hassle at my end, doctors eventually concluded I was ‘probably going through early menopause’. Skip forward a couple of years & finally got a decent doctor. On HRT but still taking anti-depressants as well. Yet I still have days where I’m so miserable & lack any energy to do anything. How long this lasts I have no idea?!
Nekesha3 years ago
I’ve experienced the same things with the mood swings. Learning to give myself grace and just allow myself to go through the motions while being intentional about speaking and thinking positively. I often talk about menopause with the people in my circle so they understand what I’m going through. Everyone has been so supportive and graceful while I’m trying to figure it all out.
Danielle3 years ago
My moods are so unpredictable.. I can go from a manic high.. I texted about 20 plus women I knew and to them a ALL the things I loved about them, I even was so excited to hold a friend’s 9 month old baby.. luckily it was a crowned restaurant and they just thought I was being funny.. it wasn’t to funny for me.. I could feel my blood pressure sky rocketing.. hot flashes kicked into high gear.. it took me 2-3 hours to calm down… I had to leave the restaurant.. Also unexplained sobbing.. I was driving to meet another couple to go to the movies…they called my husband’s phone as I was driving.. the plans to see a movie changed.. and we started making other plans.. i got irritated and told them we would plan later when we got to their house..We’ll not even three minutes later.. I had to pull over as I was so overwhelmed.. I started sobbing uncontrollably and banging my fists against the steering wheel.. all the while my hubby is sitting in the passenger seat.. dead silent.. he had been so patient.. it took me a good 15 minutes to collect myself.. luckly the drive was long and my hubby suggested we take the “scenic route”. .. lol. So now I take things day by day.. my hubby makes the weekend plans.. he just tells me what I need to know.. we are doing something.. lol. I’m trying.. and that’s all I can do right now.. I’ll be 49 this year and I have been per menopausal for 5 years.. with symptoms worsening. It is what it is.. day by day moment by moment.
Susie3 years ago
I'm 44 and have been struggling on and off with anxiety and depression for the last 5 years. At first I put it down to stress and I made a lot of changes to my lifestyle including reducing my working hours to 4 days per week. Now that I am starting to notice other symptoms of perimenopause appearing I'm wondering if it is also my hormones that are playing a bigger part.
Nichelle2 years ago
Im definitely more emotional than I used to be. I feel overwhelmed and full of emotion. Sometimes I cry. It has to be triggered tho. It’s weird.
Meme1 year ago
I’m 53 and my moods are so erratic. I’ll go through time feel ok and then not. Still have all the lady bits but I’m experiencing new issues and seeing doctor later this week. I found vitamins to help as well working with naturopath. She recommended vitamin e. This whole phase is hard and everyday a different adventure. Good luck.