I went shopping today and heard someone talking about me to their partner. I lost it and was rude and quite personal with my reaction. Sometimes I feel out of control. Has this happened to anyone else?
– Jo, Norwich
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68Real experiences shared by the community, from the original discussion to today.
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Sally5 years ago
I do have less patience now and can’t be doing with idiots. Then of course it depends on if you have mood swings! Don’t catch us at a bad moment lol
Val5 years ago
Hello new to the group and glad I found it too. I have experienced the mood swings and it’s like I have no patience that make me feel like why…
Jolange5 years ago
Yes, I have often felt out of control, I am not an angry person yet I snap easily and pick fault a lot and the worst trigger is someone talking about me it doesn’t matter what they are saying I just loose it. If this is a true friend you will be able to talk to her about it, if not you are better off without. It is not your fault try not to worry over it, have some you time and relax.
Ari5 years ago
I wouldn’t say out of control per se, but my tolerance for bulls**t is next to nonexistent. Still, I’m so non confrontational that I don’t know if I would say anything. Thankfully, I never notice anything around me when I’m out.
Chelle5 years ago
You explained how a feel to a T! Thank you for sharing!
Sam5 years ago
Sorry you experienced this! Did you know this other person, or was it a complete stranger talking about you? Either way it sounds like they were being rude so you can't totally blame yourself for your reaction. But if you're like me and want to be in better control of your emotions, try breathing exercises and meditation. I have learnt some techniques I can do in the moment whenever I feel like I'm about to lose it! Hugs to you X
Jo5 years ago
It was a complete stranger.
Samreplying to Jo5 years ago
Anyone would feel uncomfortable with a stranger talking about them, so don't be hard on yourself! Just focus on taking care of you ?
Jo5 years ago
It was a complete stranger
Badtemper5 years ago
Oh yes, hence my name! I am trying to watch myself and when I feel it coming get into a clear space. Today I have come to the conclusion I need to work on keeping my serotonin levels up, more outside activities, walking, gardening. This way I hope I can keep my Incredible Hulk persona in check.
Sam5 years ago
Great idea! I know when I'm generally feeling well and my serotonin levels are up, even annoyances don't affect me as much ??♀️
Emma5 years ago
I completely understand. I had a go at a stranger in the supermarket because she had a large amount of the same food items so I accused her of panic buying just as lockdown came back in. I’m not usually like that but yes; I felt out of control. I agree with the other lady, it’s not your fault and we are stressed enough with this current situation without menopausal symptoms as well.
Patsy5 years ago
I’ve lost control quite a few times, usually with my husband. At the time the anger feels entirely justified but later, having calmed down, I wonder why I reacted as I did and the response doesn’t seem appropriate. Now I walk away and distract myself with breathing exercises, mindfulness, have a bath, exercise, whatever I feel like doing that allows some distance. It doesn’t always work but I’ve learned that feelings, thoughts and emotions fluctuate and can’t always be trusted. I spoke to my doctor about it and she put me on hrt patches though I don’t think they made a difference. I try to keep my emotions balanced by looking after myself, good nutrition, exercise, healthy sleep pattern, etc. I apologise if I’ve caused offence and I have found that people didn’t see it (my outburst) as much as a big deal as I had. Be kind to yourself
Katherine5 years ago
Great advice !! I can definitely relate ,, lots of alone time, meditation, Healing non inflammatory foods, positive daily affirmations, with plenty of self care ?
Emma5 years ago
Hi, thank you for sharing. I’ve noticed myself boiling with rage at random times and talking angrily out loud to myself. I’ve found the feelings quite alarming and have struggled to keep rumination at bay which just fuels the anger. It does make me feel out of control and like staying away from other people. Walking my dog helps.
More than anything I just hate not feeling like my5 years ago
Walking my dog and breathing in the fresh air and feeling the sunshine really helps me too.
Dianne5 years ago
Yes I’ve had quite a few outbursts lately and I’ve been shocked with myself immediately afterwards. Almost embarrassed to be honest, but at the time I can’t help it.
Pete5 years ago
Omg yes! Hot flashes hot temper hot mess ?
Caz5 years ago
I get out bursts often just last night got so angry with my partner because I feel he has no time for me I feel very lonely inside
Catreplying to Caz5 years ago
I feel you Caz, I know at 40 I’m mourning my youth, losing my looks and self esteem, my partner has zero sex drive, tried to discuss it and thought I was losing my mind at one point. I soon realised I had to stop trying to make him want me and had to started making me like myself. I feel better than I have in years and realise I’m in charge of making myself feel good, I will not give that power to anybody else. You will be ok, one day at at time and when it gets really tough at times, remember it will pass. XX
Kate W5 years ago
Yes! You’re not alone. I went through this about two years ago and I was utterly vile, the worst part was I couldn’t stop it. Normally I’m not the kind of person to be spiteful or direct hurtful comments at people, but they were pouring out of my mouth like a torrent. I even threw things at my wife and I would never do that. You genuinely cannot help it. Explaining it to my wife helped hugely as she knows it’s not my usual kind of behaviour. I’m shouty, yes and I’ll argue with the best of them but I’ve never been verbally hurtful like I was during that period of the menopause. It also helped me to recognise it, when the wife started going through the same menopausal symptoms this year.
Popcorn4 years ago
I can totally relate ?
AW5 years ago
I get huge waves of anger quite frequently. I try and distance myself mentally from the situation and let it wash away. To be honest though I don’t blame you for getting angry in this situation. Menopause or not, they were being rude and it sounds like they are the issue here.
Deanna5 years ago
My husband seems to be the only one getting on my last nerve.
Shell5 years ago
I’ve been having a really hard time with my emotions, I can get very angry one second and it feels like the blood is running out of my face to my stomach. I have overreacted when I should have kept my mouth shut. I don’t like feeling out of control. I have always been a quiet person and never confrontational. Has anyone else gone through this or going through this? It’s been a struggle ?
Sarah5 years ago
Yes I have terrible anger some times,.,usually when driving!! The language that comes out of my mouth is awful...but after I’ve calmed down I’m ok!! Much be something I can take??
Debra5 years ago
YES! I’m finding myself “losing it” more and more often. It’s like going from 0-100 in a second. Running usually helps me, so I’ve been trying to make sure I do that consistently. I don't like feeling like the Tasmanian devil destroying everything in its path. ??♀️
Madness5 years ago
So happy to have found this App! I was feeling like I’m the only person in the world with these crazy mood swings, anxiety then followed by guilty feelings & bouts of depression. I started HRT around 4 months ago & thought things were improving & although I no longer suffer with hot flashes, it seems all the other crazy stuff is still happening & quite possibly getting worse!
Mandy5 years ago
Yes, just lately I’ve had occasions when my anger takes over. I used to be able to control my moods but now things which never used to bother me are like a trigger to an explosion. I’m sure this is going to get me into trouble at work.
Beta5 years ago
Very much so! I feel crazy most of the time. Like I’m just done with most everyone, including complete strangers!
Fifi5 years ago
Strangely enough, I’ve become much more chilled since the menopause. I used to be a lot more shouty towards the kids when I was due a period. Sometimes I used to rant at them for so long, I’d forget what I was annoyed about! However I find now that I don’t suffer fools. Previously I used to keep my mouth shut just to keep the peace, but now I speak my mind. My husband normally gets the brunt of it lol. I’ve also become a lot more sweary, even when I talk to myself lol x
Penny5 years ago
Yes a lot I just snap for no reason. Thank god my boyfriend grew up with all sisters and understand most of my issues. There’s days I can’t stand myself
Rebekah5 years ago
Im so glad I found this group! Oh yes, angry outbursts at my hubby and he’s wonderful! Then the guilt and being depressed a couple days. And like you say I feel I cant control it. Exercise definitely helps doing it in the morning to set the tone for the day. Eating healthy helps too. And breathing and taking a time out.
Popcorn4 years ago
Omg the guilt! I can totally relate ?
Janereplying to Popcorn2 years ago
Can relate to that so much. Have little patience and go from 0-60 in a heartbeat. Totally agree about exercise, yoga, reading, eating well. Keep going everyone!
Hotheaded5 years ago
Yes in the beginning I was a beast. I think I’ve filmed down somewhat.
HMC5 years ago
Numerous meltdowns where it’s as though I know I’ll regret what I’m going to do or say - but I can’t seem to stop it. I’ve walked out on my job and wanted to end my relationship many times. A few days later I look back and say, “who the hell was that?” It’s like I told my doctor: it’s like a tsunami... I can see it coming but just can’t get to high ground fast enough. I’m on low dose HRT and Wellbutrin. Doc upped the Wellbutrin and it’s made a huge difference. I still have bad days but I bounce back a lot faster. I’m so grateful for this app and the opportunity to learn from others.
Aimee5 years ago
When I feel like I’m going to go off or everything seems to be setting me off negatively, I lock myself in a room sometimes only half a day sometimes longer. I know that’s probably not the correct way to address the problem but people are still alive and not mad at me. Lol
Josephine5 years ago
Yes anger upon anger issues and then exercising it away not always an option. Like a stuck feeling ... somethings got to give.
Mandy5 years ago
For me it is uncontrollable crying and feelings of despair. I will suddenly, for no discernible reason feel like I am just miserably unhappy. I’ve spent years getting my shit together, and then all of a sudden I feel emotionally worse than I have in 25 years. It is terrifying to feel so completely out of control. The first time it happened I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. For no reason. Thank heavens I’m not.
Trudy5 years ago
I feel your pain as feel exactly the same way.
Sarah1 year ago
I’m so emotional and feel really sad I honestly don’t know what to do with myself 😢
InPain5 years ago
Yes, I feel out of control quite a bit, but I tend to internalize it and focus all the anger and frustration on myself. Which,, as you can imagine, only makes it worse. I just don’t have a safe outlet for it.
Moody momma5 years ago
I feel like I’m always ready to snap and just fly off at the handle for no reason. Then I feel really bad after but I feel like I can’t get anything done or one thing accomplished. I wake up angry at the world and I’m so tired of feeling this way.
Heather4 years ago
This is me! I am also a Type 1 diabetic and was diagnosed with coronary artery disease last year. I AM ONLY 47. I teach 5th graders and swear the demands of work have caused much of this. I am tired of feeling so stressed and overwhelmed!
Dragonfly5 years ago
Yes, before menopause I was a very even keel kind of person compassionate caring generally happy. Since menopause I’ve turned into somebody I don’t even know who it is. I feel angry and very stressed out!! Just had a big blowout with my mom she said she doesn’t know who I am she never thought that I would talk to her and the way I did. I am a caregiver and I Find myself raising my voice and losing my temper around him. He has ALS and should not be talk to in that manner. I’m taking Estavan for moods and hot flashes in the hot flashes are better but the moods are all crazy. I have thyroid problems which also aggravates menopause.. I just feel very out of control. Can someone reach out at tell me what I can do!!
Sarah5 years ago
Yes, I’m angry and irritated all the time. I feel like I have no control over my reactions.
Dana4 years ago
Oops that’s me. It’s so bad! I feel bad for my family.
That0negirl4 years ago
Oh yes sometimes I have a lot of stress on me and I am trying to keep myself calm but when someone literally calls my name I release my anger on them or I hate ever little problem I see
Emiko4 years ago
When a brain wave hits, I have anger and rage towards my husband. I don’t even know what sets me off. Then cry for 15-30 minutes and hope we’re still speaking or NOT. Sometimes I want to leave and move away. I pushed a friend and my dad away, however, when you tell your friend you need a break (you can’t listen to others stress while this is happening to you) or have a dad that says insensitive things behind your back like “What her poor husband has to put up.” And then there’s work, but that’s all it gets; while I find a job with a positive environment. Some people think its an act that you can control. Little do they know how much suffering is happening on the inside.
MissMoody4 years ago
I’ve been also dealing with outbursts that I’m not proud of. Thankfully I have a very patient husband. I’ve been using essential oils that have helped with my mood and emotions. I also try to to take daily walks and eat healthy. It seems to be working.
Lesley4 years ago
I hear u sista... I always knew the day before my period bc I became a total bitch! I wld say things I couldn't believe were coming out of my mouth.I felt so ashamed. When I recognise any bitchiness, I pivot my thinking & distract myself with things that make me happy... -Podcasts & walking -Sewing -Animals -Gardening -Online shopping ? I don't answer the phone, door, text or emails unless I feel happy to. I don't mk plans or go out until I feel happier. I hope U find a way to feel happier during these shitty times. It's hard but u know what makes your heart joyful...focus on that All the best x
Lesley4 years ago
Eating 1 -2bananas a day is excellent to increase potassium & serotonin the happy hormone. A banana a day keeps the bitchiness away ?
Rachel2 years ago
Maybe I’ll try this but get the potassium another way. I’m insulin resistant and have PCOS so I have to be careful of foods that spike my blood sugar. 😕
Anonymous4 years ago
Mood swings are difficult and for me it is being tearful at times and just having a lower tolerance but personally I don’t have anger outbursts. Although I get outraged about a few things and caught up in my own head and definitely irrational. I really do find mindfulness has helped me to take time to understand the feelings and relate to the fact other people feel the same, if they didn’t then why would they have a specific mindfulness session/series on the subject ? so they are like mini therapy sessions and validate how I am feeling. I think recognising and accepting all the changes and being able to be open and relate to others helps us understand our triggers and responses and helps to find ways to make changes in our lifestyle, which can often be really liberating and positive, and which can help manage how we feel. If exercising helps or having more “me time” alongside other changes in behaviour then I think we need to allow ourselves the chance to do those things and gradually over time the mood swings are something not so overwhelming, but manageable. No one should feel guilty when they are doing all they can to be accepting and understanding and confident in finding solutions and that’s exactly what everyone here is doing, just by sharing and caring, so guilt should be thrown out the window.
fgg4 years ago
haha
Cirivera3 years ago
All I feel is out of control. One second I’m right as rain. Then I’m sobbing and then I want to kill everyone and drive my car into a wall… hate to say it’s normal. But it’s the only thing I can think to justify it to myself
Wayword warmonger3 years ago
I can feel the rage rising from my toes….. I find breathing helps u through it
Frankie2 years ago
Oh man, yes! I’ve never been an angry person, I hate confrontation and am passive to a fault, but since starting induced menopause I’ve had phases (lasting several days) of uncontrollable rage with no discernible trigger. I’m feeling overwhelming guilt for putting my family through thisz I’m very lucky to have such an incredibly patient and supportive partner, but I still feel awful - I’ve been erratic, irritable, explosive and MEAN. I don’t feel like myself and I hate it; I only hope it passes with more time on HRT.
Jane2 years ago
I’m just starting to realise that my tearful moments and mood swings are menopausal symptoms. After being fairly motivated for most of my life I’m literally lost and have little idea what will make me happy. Waking up feeling like crying….not fun!! I’m SO glad that there’s a place to offload so I don’t lose it completely. Thank you wonderful community! ??
Lee2 years ago
Well I’ve been so angry I scare myself! What hurts the most I let out my anger on my kids so bad they stop talking to me! It’s this menopause it’s turned me into this evil person I had to to talk to my obgyn about it she put me on some meds it’s helping lexapro it’s calm me down ALOT! My coworkers are being approachable they’ve even seen the jeans I just hope one day my kids will come around. They’re adults now. They’ve been out of the house for a few years. They should know that it’s the menopause but they took it so personally they don’t want to talk to me anymore. I lean on my faith in GOD he gives me hope & the strength to go on! I am so glad I found this app so I could share with you all! Keep me in ur prayers guys it’s been hard…:(
Marimar2 years ago
I have less patience for liars bs & rude people especially people that dismiss me or facts I speak & make it seem like certain things aren’t possible.
Loobey2 years ago
I have much less patience than I used to!
Shortstuff1 year ago
My ooor partner cops it regularly then feel terrible afterwards from my outburst don’t like feeling like this but sometimes it just happens despite me trying not to get mad!
Jen1 year ago
Yes! I had a breakdown with a friend and it spiraled….until I thought about it. My therapist has been telling me she thinks I need my levels checked.
Amanda1 year ago
I totally get that feeling. It takes me a lot of tongue biting at times not to go thermonuclear.
Dee1 year ago
It happens mostly at home but sometimes at the workplace as well. Today I started to do running practices. I have never run in my life before. It was the first day and I can say that it helped me to be calm after a difficult day at home.
Annee3 months ago
I’m feeling really bored can’t find a job as got fired last year because of my menopause forgetting something I didn’t do any major mistakes. So I’m feeling lonely and just trying to figure out what I can do to make myself feel better it’s really difficult I’m on hrt that doesn’t seem to work out at the moment I don’t know. Xx Also I’m very irritable!!