Since I started my journey through the menopause a couple years ago, I’ve found it so easy to fall into negative thinking. Yet, I know how important a positive mindset is to overcoming challenges in life. I want to ask the community for helpful strategies to not only muddle through this time of life, but to thrive. Please share new ways of mentally framing this change, or things you’ve done that have had a positive impact in your life. I know for me at least, sharing the highs (and lows) helps remind me I’m not going through this alone.
- Hattie, Liverpool
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31Real experiences shared by the community, from the original discussion to today.
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Sam6 years ago
I started out my journey feeling quite down about the situation, but I gradually became more and more accepting of my new self. I started a habit of journaling daily, starting and ending my day with gratitude has helped more than I thought it would (even if it’s just taking a few seconds on busy days). Id def suggest trying that but I’d love to hear what works for others!
Viccy6 years ago
Am 44 years old and haven’t had a period in over 8 months. 2018 and 2019 were difficult years where I was convinced I had dementia. I had brain fog all the time and struggled to stay positive and didn’t understand why! I under went all manner of scans to rule all things out and eventually doctors decided it was stress. My work suffered the most and I have periods where I can hardly concentrate. After my period stopped completely, I realised It was the menopause and it has started with a vengeance . Recently I made peace with where I was at and in April 2020 I rang my GP who suggested to put me on HRT and anti depressants. This was a wake up call as Am not great with medication and have since started regular exercising. I walk and occasionally jog early in the mornings at least 5 miles and average 5 days a week. I have a knee injury, so I mainly walk. I would say Start slowly and aim for consistency! This decision has improved my mood greatly and I don’t feel I need medication to improve my mood anymore. I would recommend any form of exercise at the beginning of the day. For some reason I find I can now also spend time meditating which has allowed me to be kinder to myself, considering am a result driven person who has struggled to be productive and hasn’t achieved a lot lately. Keep on keeping on.
Claire6 years ago
Thank you for sharing your story!! This gives me hope that I can find ways to manage my changes. Im also dealing with injuries and find it hard to sustain motivation sometimes because I can't do what I used to be able to do. but I like your advice of aiming for consistency (even if i have to start smaller than i'd like)
Anonymousreplying to Claire6 years ago
Thank you. This helps me understand this new phase in my journey
Sharon6 years ago
Hi love your positive message x I’m 47 and have had similar symptoms where my brain fog affects my work painful boobs and my joints are horrendous have never felt so unhealthy in all my life I could cry at a whim water retention is a complete nightmare! I won’t take medicines if I can help it I only take supplements vitamins x I really want to get back into my excerise I don’t have the mind set and I reckon it would probably solve most of my symptoms I’m not sure how far down the menopause I am thought I was peri?? As I’ve got the Mirena coil I don’t have periods so difficult to see where I’m at x any advice you could offer to get me back into my fitness again x as my weights rocketed x
Anonymous6 years ago
I am so glad I am not alone in this. Meditation and exercise has also helped my emotional state. I would also say acupuncture also helps with the anxiety and depression I feel
tracy6 years ago
Great piece thank you hope things get easier I have injuries too and have been a sports therapist without motivation. However I have been depressed in grief and empty nester and separated it feels life has got tough these last few years and physically tougher. I will start small and start again when the day goes wrong too. I have a lot to be thankful for but I do need to change my thought patterns...
Anonymous4 years ago
Thank you for sharing. I also try to keep positive but some days are hard. But we have to keep on keeping on as you said
Tash6 years ago
Sometimes I feel like I am spiraling out of control - like Viccy I am also 44 however my periods are still frequent, it’s just the symptoms that are affecting me especially for someone who is a self confessed control freak. I feel I have no control, complete brain fog and sometimes no motivation. I have declined anti depressants and have been “considering” HRT for about 6 months but that’s my own choice. Have been (inconsistently ) taking supplements if taken regularly seems to help. (Starflower, Black Cohosh, Magnesium) What I did find was that CBT (GP Referral) did help with all the past regret, paranoia and self loathing (am I the only one ?) We were taught that NAT is a Negative Automatic Thought - and that if you can identify it as such you can break it down to just that.
Natasha6 years ago
Well hello, I was young when I started menopause as I was 29. I struggled to come to terms with it, and even now when I'm 32 years old I feel the same. I think it’s when you don’t know what to do or how to accept it. I have been on anti depressants as I suffer with depression as well. Sometimes you think you are alone in this as you never know who else is going through it, because it's hard to talk about. I would say that has the most impact on my life to be honest. I try to do different activities like work out, drawing, painting and listening to calm music or old music that I enjoy. But I would say it’s important to remember you are not alone in this!!!
Gorda6 years ago
I’m not sure how open women are about the menopause where you live, I’m in a small town in southern Spain and I just blurt it out and most of the Spanish ladies then open up to me and we end up comparing symptoms etc.? My problem is with these females who insist they never even heard of the menopause and that they never had any problems whatsoever. (Brits!) And you mention depression, another issue that the majority of people don’t understand and refuse to talk about. I also suffer from depression, have done for years, and as we know going through the menopause doesn’t make it better or easier. I do agree with you that it helps to realise that other women are going through the same thing. People might think of me as being bonkers, I just can’t understand why we are not open about it?
Anonymous3 years ago
Hi Natasha how did you realise you where going through menopause im 29 and I have so many symptoms that I’m definitely going through peri menopause
Virginia6 years ago
I am 52 and I am dealing with post menopause..which comes with some physical symptoms that was all over the place for me. I felt out of balance more so since the pandemic. I came to terms of the changes and started mediations more..add my Faith to stay positive along with cognitive behavior. Eating more foods that are said to help with symptoms, multivitamin for her over 50+, along with extra vitamin D, C and sometimes B-complex or B12. I mostly struggle with the anxiety part and being awaken at night with night sweats or palpitations. I drink chamomile tea or warm milk before bed most times. Now I am in a space where I am unbothered by the symptoms, I just flow with it because I know the feeling always pass. When I wake up some nights I read by bible or surf Pinterest until I get sleepy again and go back to sleep for another 2-3 hrs. Then it is a new day. Now I understand why my older sister be falling asleep while we are hanging out sometimes...lolll! Interrupted sleep during menopause. I thought no more periods would mean no more issues in that department, not so I come to find out. We have to keep powering on.
Harriet6 years ago
I hope to get to your place of feeling unbothered by symptoms. I can get so worked up and make them even worse than they are to start with. Reading your advice and others', I realize that I'll help myself by letting go.
Sharon6 years ago
My menopause started straight after a full hysterectomy, though I had mild symptoms before. I am part of a Facebook group for ladies who have had or will have a hysterectomy. There is so much experience on there, and you can ask absolutely anything and there’s always someone who says I get that too. So for me it’s talking with people who get it that keeps me positive. I’ve also been told that Dr Louise Newson on Instagram is excellent, I’ve just started to follow her.
Connie6 years ago
I agree with you Sharon - the greatest relief comes from just knowing other women and having their support, even if it is from strangers in places like this!
Laura6 years ago
Aged 40 and already 8 years into my journey. I have faced infertility, the whole spectrum of symptoms plus a sense of loneliness. I am finally starting to see a brighter future. The turnaround for me came when I began to accept my situation. Acceptance = freedom and happiness to me. How have I achieved this? By talking, sharing, crying, shouting. To people. Just letting it out. Talking to new and old friends has really helped me. I am managing my symptoms through HRT, antidepressants, dog therapy and exercise, however, it is love and kindness that continues to have the greatest impact. Love to you all xxxxx
Tony6 years ago
Hi Laura, it gives me hope to hear your optimism given all the challenges you've been through. How did you your friends respond to you sharing your feelings? I worry about burdening my friends with my problems and that they wouldn't understand, which makes me feel isolated.
Laurareplying to Tony6 years ago
Hi Tony, Thank you for reaching out. Big hugs. My close friends have been supportive, however, those that don’t know me so well have felt awkward; particularly those who are pregnant or have newborns (I am only 40) so do not feel they can share their joy with me. My close friends have really helped though. It’s been a real relief to tell them about what I’m going through; warts and all. It has opened conversations about their issues. Nobody’s life is perfect. We just have different challenges. Overall I honestly feel that sharing my challenges has helped me to feel less isolated. Really hope this helps. Laura xx
Harriet6 years ago
I'm making a mental note to remember Acceptance=Freedom. It will be my new mantra!
Laurareplying to Harriet6 years ago
Really hope you find acceptance Harriet ?
D J6 years ago
It is so hard being menapausal. I’ve felt down for ages but did go to GP over a year ago and had HRT patches now on tablets. It helps but since this virus and not being at work it’s been so difficult. I have cried more, shouted more and been so snappy!! There are some solutions:- 1. Remember you are one person trying to juggle family demands so be proud of what you do!!! 2. Have ME time explain to family when it’s happening and no demands! 3. Tell elderly parents when you will do the gardening ect so they are not wittering. 4. Start a new hobby or continue an old one. ME time is my favourite having a bath putting body cream on. Doing my nails ect. It hard but can make life slightly better for you. Take care everyone x
Nancy6 years ago
I relate to you about crying more and being snappy since the lockdown. It's been so difficult! Thank you for sharing these tips. Today I'm going to start creating me-time and finding ways to make myself feel better whenever down.
Anonymous6 years ago
I agree I would like to get through this time as best as I can
Anonymous4 years ago
Thank you for sharing. My main issue is low moods and depression caused by peri menopause and my GP suggested taking anti depressants. I read about those and a bit scared about the side effects and that I won’t manage without those in a long term. Sometimes it gets worse when you start taking those before it gets better and it is worrying. Can anyone share their experiences? I am at the stage that I do need to get help with the cognitive side of things which is now affecting my work and family.
Anonymous4 years ago
It has been a daily struggle for me. All the unknowns that no one discusses. That’s why I am grateful for this. I was married at 17, now separated after 32 Years. I have 4 beautiful kids and 6 amazing grandkids out of it. I am still bitter and hurt struggling with menopause and the end of my marriage. Trying to start over dating in this crazy world while in menopause. ??
Amanda4 years ago
I am 46 and have struggled with depression for a long time. I was put on meds for a few months 16 years ago when I was going through my mothers death. I took them when I went through my divorce 18 years ago also, but only for about 3 months. I am on them now and have been on them for 3 years now due to breast cancer and the one I’m on also helps with hot flashes. I don’t get as many hot flashes or at least they aren’t as noticeable anymore. I am not able to do Hormone Therapy because my breast cancer was caused by hormones. I really just need to get back into exercising. I need to start small and just add to it. I need to be positive about menopause and enjoy this time. I have an amazing husband, 3 amazing children, a wonderful job, wonderful friends and family, and the list goes on. I just have to stay positive
Anonymous4 years ago
Why isn’t depression listed as a symptom?
Taia4 years ago
This lesson opened my eyes to how much negative I’ve been putting in my brain,saying that I’m worthless and I struggle to do anything anymore because of my physical issues.
Nekesha3 years ago
I never knew there were so many symptoms of menopause prior to joining this group. I thought I was just struggling with life. I recently finished a Boole called The Energy Bus which started me on the journey of positive thinking. I’m looking at life more positively and try to avoid complaining. My days have been better. Midday yoga (10 minutes during my lunch break) has been helpful too. Taking it one day at a time.
Anonymous2 years ago
Negative thinking used to bombard me. Then I listened to a podcast that made me realize I’m not alone. The key things I learned is that my negative thinking isn’t real. Non of the scenarios in my mind ever happened. I actually have not real evidence that my beliefs about another person is true. And that I’m alone in this negative spiral. Once I remind myself that my negative thoughts are mine alone and they are not positive, it helps me dispel them and focus on what can bring me joy. It doesn’t always work right away but it always works.